Ever lost your keys? Been in a situation where you’re forced to stay out of your own home and wait till help comes? Well, we all often find ourselves either stranded or locked out of our own office, house or apartment. But we don’t break down the door or break in forcefully. We use a spare key, and we don’t just keep these spare keys anywhere or randomly trust anyone with them.
Apologies are like spare keys. Watch who you give them to, because whenever someone special or close falls out with you. It is like they’ve slammed or locked a door between your life and theirs. Some misplace their keys in this process and some even throw away the keys. This creates a distance n a wall of silence between you two because the channels for interaction/access are now closed. And by apologizing. You’re indirectly simply offering them a spare.
But some people will use these spare keys to get back in your life and steal all that they left. Others will make a copy and make it a convenience stop. Get in and out whenever they please. Some will use these keys to open up your heart. Not to fill or heal it but only to leave it empty the next time they leave.
So. If you’ve deliberately or accidentally offended or crossed someone in the past and they won’t accept your apology. Maybe you’re giving your spare keys to the wrong person. And when someone keeps committing the same offence for which you continue to forgive them again and again. Maybe its about time you got your spares back. Because some people make good guests. Not house mates.
When someone you’ve stuck up for too many times before rejects your sincere apologies. Deliberately frustrates all your efforts to make peace. Won’t acknowledge/reciprocate your genuine attempts to break the silence. Continually neglects your honest pleas for forgiveness. Trashes and turns down the option of a fresh start or a truce. Then they were most probably just looking for an excuse or waiting for an opportune moment to let you go. Instead of sulking in regret. Be glad it happened soon. Don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s a hint that maybe you’re doing too much. And perhaps the value you accord to them is not mutual.
By way of instincts. Wisdom tells us when to let go and when to hang on. But by experience, knowledge tells us what to let go of and what to hang on to. Because when our nails grow. We cut the nails off. Not the fingers.
By Kidron Nabende Googo